Oscar Gallifray eyes the console. Nervously he wittles a 3-button ergonomic mouse using his state-of-the-art Lithuanian pen-knife with optional password decoder. He ponders Shakespeare’s intent in Scene II as he assumes the character for his part as a one-eyed newt in the upcoming Curtin production of Hamlet.
Jurgan Hubcap, (the J is silent as in potato) or Mr Tact as his friends call him, embraces his geneology. Pondering his last minute nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize, he pens a letter of humility to Mother Teresa, exhorting her to keep the faith, and something about a horses head. A mail alias called drivel with him as the only recipient seems to be the only plausible solution.
Sherman Meteor dribbles across the court. The abscence of a ball enhances this aquatic event. His treatise on humour, “Ha Bloody Ha” never made the bestsellers list and gathers cobwebs next to an autographed copy of Mein Kamp. Flacco consoles him while the Sandman brings him a nightmare.
Rafael Le Clapp, checks the share prices on Kinder Incorporated, and grins inanely at his plastic condor. He’s been on the ASCII wagon for 3 months, and showing vast signs of improvement. Rent-A-Shed have come to his aid once again in alleviating his Kinder storage requirements.
Perry Panther Panacea wrestles with puberty. His dreams of a ’67 Brougham convertable with candy-apple red PVC seats goes largely unfullfilled. Mills and Boon have rejected his latest offering, “Finger on my Dipstick”. Sadly, true genius always goes unrewarded, but that is not relevant here.
Damian Gerabaldi draws inspiration from his Japanese comic collection The parallels between the key character dialogs and Ada95 exception handling are a source of great comfort to him. Life may not imitate art, but then neither does techno.
Ren Nickerbocker hacks into his Curtin account and stealthfully taps the alt.binaries.pictures.legs.akimbo newsgroup. His plans to tour Australia towing a 26 foot caravan behind a Yamaha 250 cc trail bike with bludgeoned handlebar are not without merit. The relevant authorities have been notified.
Dieter (Antioch) Burgundy, pens a short ode to Michael Moorcock, as he considers once again the pros and cons of changing his name by deed poll. There’s nothing for it but to stretch that book on reading out. His new hiking boots ferment in a vat of egg yolk in preparation for his upcoming trek along the Ganges with spiritual facilitator Magnus Eggbeater.
Julietta Coredump works to improve morale. The tap-dancing camels will arrive late this afternoon for an impromptu performance and sausage sizzle. That should just about do it.
William Epitath rechecks the use-by date on his Certificate of Sanity. Hmmm, time for another checkup methinks… Ahhhhh… That’s better.
(The above item was authored by a random character generator hooked up to a 32-bit ouija board, using a RISK processor the size of a pea.)