how popular is the upside of blaming your partner and/or wanting to cure him/her - being the hero - “i love my man and i have scars to prove it” - you get to feel like a martyr (warm fuzzy) when you should just be moving on (common sense) - you love too much but its the wrong sort of love
there is always an upside (payoff) to our misery - its why we linger on it and are so reluctant to get over it - having someone to blame is a great comfort as it allows us to down tools and erect monuments to the damage done
having been sinned against, justice dictates we stay wounded - no further growth is allowed - it’s a great deal - you get to cave in mentally - milk the cause of the damage as much as you can - write poems about it - glorify it - it is so much easier to feel miserable than recover - and so the cycle perpetuates - like a drug addiction - it is a fair thing that we remain damaged
get this - there is no point to recovery - if you choose to recover you will feel real (as opposed to nostalgic) pain again - you will get to kick yourself - but hey - that is what feelings are for - pain and joy
choose pain over numbness - grow up - find yourself - and don’t look for yourself in someone else’s eyes - don’t go getting your self-esteem off others - that would then just be be others-esteem now wouldn’t it?
the main reason it is easier to blame the other is because we know them better than we know ourselves - because our definition of ourselves is so shallow and off-the-mark, for having been based too much on the way others see us
you can hide from yourselves in the arms of another for only so long - eventually even they will notice that there is no one home
love yourself first (do the hard yards there) so you can maybe one day become somebody capable of loving another from your heart rather than just for theirs!
it is the difference between doing something remarkable and doing something to appear remarkable - yes there is a difference - since it is not what you do, only why you do it - motive over action every time - so live remarkably
life is a gift - we should be damn grateful - encourage our wounds to heal - tolerate the imperfections in ourselves and others - screw equality! - strive for and celebrate harmony - forgive everything - especially yourself - laugh - sing in the shower - just get over it - don’t hang around waiting for that compensation cheque - screw justice! - choose life again
and every now and then, hope that someone comes by and clips you around the ear, because we are all self-absorbed idiots! - it is just the degree that varies - and the way we choose to disguise it - and a clip around the ear can often fix that